Is prioritising your style selfish? Or the smartest self-care move you can make?
As I recover from Valentine’s Day, the annual celebration of love that once brought me a laughable amount of misery, I can’t help but reflect. Perhaps it was the constant feeling of being let down by past lovers, or maybe it was the sense of being left out of what I perceived to be everyone else’s experience of perfect love. The current trend of having ‘coffee with my younger self’ is sweet. I’d give her a hug, promise her she’ll find peace, but not in someone else. She’ll find it within herself. So this year on February 14th, at 41 years old, I happily spent the evening at home, fully at ease with the love I have and, more importantly, the way I now define love. If you haven’t read it yet and are still exploring what love truly means, I highly recommend ‘All About Love’ by Bell Hooks , life-changing in my opinion.
This is not a love blog though - it is still a STYLE blog, inspired by the love I now give myself through style.
When was the last time you put yourself first? And I mean without guilt.
Busy professional women spend all their time looking after others, or just trying to keep life from descending into chaos. Their own needs have been shoved to the bottom of the ‘to-do’ list. Somewhere between work, family, social obligations, and an ever growing schedule, your personal style has become an afterthought. You just grab whatever is clean and vaguely acceptable when you get dressed each morning.
And so the cycle begins... You have low energy, you lack confidence, you don’t prioritise yourself, you work harder for others than you do for yourself, you feel underappreciated so your energy is drained further. You suddenly catch yourself in the mirror and wonder, when did I become this exhausted, frazzled version of myself? You want out of this rut but you don’t know where to start…
Style as Self-Care
What even is self care really? Social media, our friends, family, husband or wife may constantly tell us to “treat ourselves” and practise “self-care,” but a one-off facial, the occasional massage, or a Sunday night hair mask doesn’t quite hit the deep spot that needs solving. Things like this are lovely in the moment, sure, but they don’t solve the underlying issue and most importantly you don’t actually feel better for a long period of time.
True self care is about showing up for yourself every single day without it being a massive effort.
I have found that my sense of style and ability to dress myself with complete ease takes away one of the daily pressures. I receive compliments regularly for what I wear and how I look, all because I prioritised my outfits and learnt how to make my clothes work for me. This ability has unlocked a sense of self love that has made me make bold, fun and clever decisions that I doubt I would have if I had stayed the same person I was. In my humble opinion there is no better way to really love yourself than learning how to dress in a way that makes you feel like the best version of yourself.
Getting dressed is the one thing you HAVE to do, its not a choice or even a lifestyle! Dressing well is certainly a choice, a skill and something anyone can learn.
Dressing with Love
Here is how hiring a personal stylist is an act of self-love…
💖 By defining your style ID you get to recognise you. Who you are in the moment, not who you long to be past or future. By truly understanding what enhances your features and complements your lifestyle you are equipped to make the best out of what you have and this is not vanity, it’s self-respect. You deserve to feel a deep sense of security in your own skin.
💖 By refreshing your wardrobe you are making space for the woman you are now. Letting go of outfits that no longer serve you is like shedding layers of old self doubt. Keeping only what fits, flatters, and excites you is a daily reminder that you matter. Also, a clean and tidy wardrobe is in itself can alleviate more stress than you can even imagine.
💖 By going shopping with a purpose you will stop yourself from panic-buying or settling for ‘that’ll do.’ Every new piece you bring into your wardrobe should work for you, not against you. Choosing clothes intentionally is you deciding that you are worthy of a lovely wardrobe that supports your lifestyle, confidence, and ambitions.
Personal style appointments are about more than the clothes you wear. When you invest in yourself, that confidence spills into every part of your life. You stand taller, speak clearer, and move with more certainty. That’s the transformation.
So, no, loving yourself isn’t selfish.
Prioritising your style and confidence isn’t a waste of time.
In fact, it might just be the smartest (and most stylish) thing you do for yourself this year.
Now, go on—put yourself first for once. You deserve it. ❤️
Love
Jess
X
